Five thousand is a huge number; yet, that is about how many children are currently in the foster care system in Mississippi. Unfortunately, there is a critical need for families to take in all of these children.
May is Foster Care Awareness Month, and no many people understand the foster care system enough to participate and help provide for children who really need a stable environment to live in. Clarke County does have a few families who are willing to foster different children from across the state and help give them the support that they really need.
One of the people who chose to participate in foster care is Sasha Phillips. Although she is young, she felt that God was leading her to foster, and she followed that call despite having some trouble at first.
“I decided to foster because God told me to,” explained Sasha. “I was diagnosed with benign tumors on my liver, and I was told that it was not safe to have children. For some reason, I had a peace in me when I was given the news despite the fact I had always wanted a family. Growing up, I always said I would adopt, but never did I think it would be by myself. I started giving foster care some thought and reached out to somebody, but no one returned my call. I decided that must mean that it wasn’t the time and moved on.”
Although it just wasn’t her time at first, she eventually started to feel God’s call again. This time, everything lined up perfectly for her.
“One day, I started seeing stuff about foster care everywhere—on the T.V, on the radio, and even all my Facebook ads. I reached out to DHS again, and I actually got someone on the phone. She told me there was a class coming up in Meridian and that I should go to the orientation to see if it is something I’d want to do. When I had looked at it previously, all the classes were in Laurel or even further away, and they always landed on my work weekends or lasted too many days. Well, the orientation she told me about in Meridian fell on a work day, but I conveniently had somebody there with me that day, which is something I never had. I asked the person if they would mind if I went to the orientation and she told me to go for it,” remembered Sasha. “I went to the orientation in Meridian, and the first thing to pop up was a bible verse. I listened and thought that it may be something I would want to do. They called out the training dates, and the dates happened to fall on my off weekend on the weekend I turned 27. I sat through the class, and everything just lined up and went great. Usually the licensure part takes several months. I did the training at the end of September, and I was licensed by the first part of December. I received my first child by the end of January 2018.”
Once she started fostering, Sasha could clearly see the need for families in the state of Mississippi, and she knows that foster families are essential for getting some children out of potentially dangerous situations in their homes. However, she also understands what the main goal is for foster care. While it is possible to adopt, the primary goal is simply to help the children until they have a safer original home environment.
“There aren’t a lot of foster families around Clarke County. There also aren’t that many kids that I know of around Clarke County, but there are so many kids in the other counties in Mississippi. The kids can come from any county in Mississippi. If they come up with a child that needs a home and you have a placement, there’s a strong chance you’ll get the call. There is an overabundance of kids and not enough foster families, and in turn some of those kids are left in dangerous situations because there is nowhere to put them,” explained Sasha. “The idea of foster care is reunification. Ideally, you want the child to reunite with their parents. I personally said that I was just fostering and would consider adoption, never thinking that it would actually happen. You are able to tell them you want to foster to adopt, and they will try to place children with you that have a strong likelihood of adoption.”
Most families in the area are afraid of fostering because of the attachment that they know they will have with a child. It is difficult for a foster parent to invest in and become attached to a child only to lose that child when it is time for the child to move on or return home. With her experience so far, Sasha proudly proclaims that no one should be afraid of getting too attached because the blessing received is worth the pain.
“Fostering is a hard thing to do. You do take the chance of getting too attached, but that child needs that attachment. It may break your heart in the end, but if you have healed their heart, then you’ve done something. People shouldn’t be afraid to foster just because they are afraid of getting too attached to the child and then losing the child,” suggested Sasha. “It’s a very rewarding thing, especially when you watch the child grow. If you have a child that comes in that stays to himself and will hardly talk to you or anything, and then one day that child is talking and hanging out the window hollering hey at the teacher, you know that you played a role in that. Whether they end up taking that child from you or not, you’ve had that time with the child. You can know that you’ve helped the child have the right mindset to go back home. It’s really a blessing.”
When someone completes the steps to foster, the person is able to specify the age group, gender, and race that is prefer. The family is also able to specify whether they would prefer to only foster or would be interested in fostering to adopt. Although the agency tries to honor the requests, sometimes it is hard to do with the overabundance of children needing homes; therefore, they will call any potential homes and as if the family would be willing to take a child in, even if the child doesn’t always meet the specifications originally given. The family has the option of whether to accept the child or not.
Sasha was faced with this decision herself when she received a call asking her to take in a child that was not what she had originally specified she would be willing to take in. She continued to follow God’s lead in the situation, and what she originally didn’t plan for herself ended up being an even bigger blessing since she now officially has a daughter and grandson of her own.
“When I first got into foster care, I had said absolutely no teenagers because I’m young and they wouldn’t respect me. One day, I got a call asking if I would take in a 17 year old girl and her four month old baby. I told them I would have to think about it, hung up the phone, and dropped to my knees to pray,” recalled Sasha. “God told me yes, so I called them back and said let’s do it. They told me she would age out at 18, but that was false information. She would not age out until the age of 20. Two years later, three days before her 20th birthday, we sent her paperwork in while she was still 19. Four days after she turned 20, she officially became mine, and her new name is officially Carol Phillips. I now have four children in my house. I have Carol and her son, who is now my grandson. I also have another brother and sister.”
Adopting Carol was a huge step for Sasha and a rare event for the foster care system. Most of the time, families only choose to adopt the babies or young children, and the teenagers are left in the system until they age out. Although the agency does try to provide the teenagers with everything they will need to go out on their own, they are still young adults who need support.
Sasha’s story is only one out of many successful fostering and even adoption stories for Mississippi, but there is still a need for more families to take in children and teenagers. Anyone who would be interesting in fostering to help make the life of another youth better can visit mdcps.ms.gov or contact the Mississippi Department of Child Protection services by calling 1-800-821-9157 or emailing adoptmskids@mdcps.ms.gov.
