Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts? Hurts, with every kind or rude word spoken, every step taken, right or wrong, every nice act of love, every look loving or desperate, and every breath taken until that final breath of life is breathed. That unconditional love is the love I shared and still carry for my Nannie (my mom’s mom). One month! One month for her last breath. One month of hurt. One month of wondering if every prayer said together, every laugh, every cry, every TV show, every song, every hug, every kiss, every hand hold, would be our last. As I sat next to her bed that night, holding her hand, praying in her ear, kissing her cheek, and reassuring her that it would be ok, that I would be ok, that our family would be ok, something inside of me went off saying YOU’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!
Pancreatic cancer. I cringe at the words. Those words hurt every time I hear them. Then again, the word cancer alone hurts every time I hear it or see it, but my story doesn’t start there, that’s just where the umpth kicked in! My story starts at birth. You see, in the 9 years that I knew my Papaw Davey (my mom’s dad), he had cancer. Melanoma skin cancer. For 10 years he was told every six months he had six months to live. At 9 years old, I didn’t think much of it; however, in October 2007 when my mom had cancer, my hate for the word cancer truly kicked in. Dermatofibrosarcoma with protuberans. Don’t worry, I know you just looked at that and said WHAT?! It’s an extremely rare form of skin cancer. It required 3 surgeries, eventually scraping her shoulder all the way to the muscle, followed by 30 rounds of radiation. This was the first time in my life I understood what it meant to be a caretaker. A caretaker, someone who goes through the fight with you, giving you love and support every step of the way. Cancer doesn't affect a single person, it affects the entire family. To see my mom go through that, made my love for her that much stronger. I knew then, that I was looking at the strongest woman I would ever know. She was/is my superhero. I’d love to tell you my story stops with those three but I’d be lying. Because in 2009, two very important men in my life, my best friends dad better known to me as my second dad and my grandma’s “friend” who had become like a grandpa to me were also fighting their cancer battles. Both of these men were very important to me and both died within two weeks of each other. My mom’s grandparents also passed after battles with cancer. These are by far my most defining heartbreaking moments. To finish telling my story, I must continue on in a different form. You see, it still does not all stop there, because, when you decide to take on a profession in the medical field, you find that cancer is EVERY WHERE. All different forms appear, each destroying a piece of you with every new diagnosis, or at least that’s what happens when you’re in my shoes. I love my career choice; I love what I do, and where I do it. With every x-ray and CT taken, I don’t know what I’m going to see. With every diagnosis of cancer though, my heart breaks a little more, and I get that drive in me to DO SOMETHING a little bit stronger.
In 2014, I looked at my mom and said “Let’s start a Relay for Life team.” Without a hint of argument, she says “OKAY!” At the time, she along with her dad was my cancer stories, so I decided we were going to bring skin cancer awareness, and name our team SPF 100%. It was catchy and with that first year we began a journey that we never knew how much we would love.
The emotions that come with Relay for Life, the emotions with seeing each purple shirt, the emotions that night after hearing the amount of money Clarke County raised, I knew I had found my way to do something. This year became the same year I faced the dreadful last month I had with my Nannie. I remember her being so proud of me and mom and our accomplishments with Relay for Life, that after she passed I knew I had to continue on. One morning, I was standing in the shower praying telling God that our team couldn't remain named SPF100% because I had a fight much stronger now. I remember begging God to guide me to a name that would work. Like a ton of bricks, it hit. Hebrews 6:19: “I have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Team Anchored. Team Anchored stands behind the promise that as long as we put our hope in Jesus and we hold on to Him as our anchor, we can survive anything, including cancer. Especially cancer. Every Relay for Life for 3 years we have shown up and worked our behinds off, because we want to do something. Every year, we grow a little bit stronger. Our team has team members who have their own stories. It’s built with family and friends who have suffered their own losses and who celebrate their own victories with their loved ones. We are a team built on hope, faith, love, and fight. We are family.
This year, my story adds on. This year my story ventures to an area of being chairperson of Clarke County Relay for Life. This year I have taken on a role I never thought I would be in but now that I am here I could not imagine not being in. I look to Gay Lynn Joyner and Verlynn Robinson as they are preparing me to pass this down to me and I see hope, I see inspiration, I see the drive they have for making such an amazing event happen. I hope and pray that I have been so far this year and can continue to be HALF of the leaders that they are and have been. I am excited to take on this role and look forward to the future years and hope to find someone as my partner and to have a partnership as great as theirs.
My story is not mine alone but the story of my heroes who have fought the most passionate battle of their lives!
